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Third week of attachment #IAP

Stop training #Taekwondo

Gain weight, turn fat #going 49kg

Long duration of travelling and working hours #Tired.

Enjoy your get away trip boy! #B2

Miss u! :)

A full of "excitement" day

Extremely nervous and was shivering before the start of my mid-term presentation.
Luckily i got good comments after my presentation.

Last day with my labmate, shixian. She going Suzhou to continue her fyp. Will miss her a lot.
Days will be lonely starting from tmr.

Talk with Sir today is emotional for me. Cried as for sure. Jip ma'm and brandon hugged me to console me. Thanks.

Sudden have a feel that i lost a lot of things around me. Without notice, tears flow down. Really feel very sad, empty in me. No feel to go for fyp tmr...

=/

Photos i took this few weeks...

Guess i gonna stop taekwondo from now... What i can said is wasted...

Regretted

I feel like cut myself and let the blood flow out.
I feel like use my finger and dig out food from my mouth and force myself to vomit.
I JUST FEEL LIKE BANG MY HEAD TO THE WALL RIGHT NOW!

3 more days to national tournament and I'm still fucking overweight.
1KG my gosh!

I always won't overweight when the tournament is so near.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Haii... *crying*

Alone

Results out today. Phew~ I feel relieved. Gpa increased by 0.01

Cried in lab today. I just don't know why. I just feel sorrow pain.

One of my labmate failed module, one labmate be off frm sg at 10 of Oct. Haii. I'll be alone in the lab for fyp from then. All the craps and laughter will be gone. Out of sudden, i feel very lonely and sad...T.T

I tried talked to her a little bit, tried msg her today. I saw her brief smile. At least i know she not angry with me, i feel much better.

Days pass so slow without friends, silent and lonely. I don't feel good and i don't want it.

Wae

Why things turn come in this way?!

I feel like im going to lose a good friend again...

Feel like burst into tears now..*control*

Clueless

I just hate this so much.
What did i do to make you feel so angry with me?! I really don't know. Really. I feel really sad about it for all the time.

I'm sad.

FIRST DAY FYP STRESS

Design of insulin pen with variable dosage

&

Design and development of child-friendly tablet guider

2 Projects

EAGLE HWAITING !

BBQ

Yesterday:

BBQ with BME friends.
I expect it a totally boring day and i will just stone there and eat my food. BUT I'M WRONG. Yes at the very start is boring because I didn't want to play Dog & Bone with them as i can't run, i will feel uncomfortable. So i went Parkway Parade to walk walk seem i'm so unfamiliar with there. Ha! I think we are so lousy, we almost lost our way there! Can't find the exit out back to bbq pit. PP really isn't my place. I flew kite with Chan. & YES! WE DID IT! We are so funny with the little small kite we borrow from friend and keep can't let it fly up. After numerous of attempt, ya we absolutely master it! Yea we are good okay~ Luckily with a 180 plus tall classmate help, managed to get the kite off from the trees. Hahas so funny and we thought it really gone this time. LUCKY US! Nice food and drink and i make new friends! I knew they are friendly and now i know them even better! 14 bucks for the bbq is still too expensive with the amount of foods i can eat. But 5 bucks with the amount of white jean beam i can drink is cheap! Thanks to JX!
CAB HOME!

I feel so sorry to you when u said this, " I even more sad tt can't see u" after i replied dun wan go find u. Haii.  I want but just not that time. You knew she doesn't like u. Feel moody for day, until i called you. Bcos of my friend so i decided called u to ask. And ya i done right, able to talk to u too and it quite awhile. Just like it very much when talk to u on the fone though it just a little while.. I hope there next time again (:

Today:

Last day of rest and FYP start tmr! Oh gosh! I can't believe time passed so fast!
No plan today, guess resting at home le~

Restless day.

Still sick, blame my itchy mouth, keep anyhow eat =/

Finally went back training. It tiring but FUN! Seriously i enjoyed it (:
I just love her take us for training. Every time there sure new way of training. But, i stop training halfway.. Body totally feel no energy, fainting mode. Though siting down at one side watching them training, i feel happy and feel like join them too! the feel really can't use words to describe. Too bad 有心力不住。

Knew another person who like her. I just dun understand why her again?! Is she really that good? What from her that attracted all of the guys? I know she good but not this extent bah?! Nevermind. #justwondering

Thankyou my dear B2 pig yong! *Hug* Thanks for the chewy bars but next time don't give me when i'm having sorethroat =X Hahas nvm, I will drink plenty of water after eating!

BBQ later! Guess will be boring bah=/
Bye~

Uncontrollable mood.

Two movies in one day! Step Up Revolution & Paranorman.
Had a great day out with you to relax ourselves before the real battle of FYP start.
White Tangerine Cafe for brunch, 18 chef for dinner. After so long since I ate that :D

Somehow, i feel myself is unreasonable & selfish. I just dunno what wrong with me, whenever i heard you talk in the phone to your friends that you are meeting them out to enjoy, i felt kinda angry and want to stop talking to you and dun feel like reply your msg. Yes, i know, i shouldn't be this way, it just seem that i wan tie you with me and only can enjoy with me around. *bang wall*
Feel kinda angry whenever you talk to girl. Just like just nw u told me you are fb msg her, i feel kinda angry but i keep telling myself i shouldn't because it nothing to be angry of when you even show me the text.
Once i closer to you, i like you even more, even deeper. The jealousy became stronger and easily angry. I know i shouldn't when i give you nothing and can't accept you. I feel myself really stupid.

Sometime i find it so annoying, sometime i wish to give a good scolding or lecturing to all of them. I found it so stupid and childish. This is not what a growing adult should think or do! Nvm, i nothing better, a small kid still.

Haii. That all. Somehow end with a emo mood =/

Panic

Insufficient time to study. Am panic now.

Hope friends can really help in my study tomorrow.

Bad sorethroat & fever. Wrong timing.

Haiii ):

That all.

Deeply feel happy.

YES!

DESIGN FOR INSULIN PEN FOR VARIABLE DOSAGE!

NO PROGRAMMING & CIRCUIT FOR ME!

:D

A long talk that let me understand you more. Thankyou.
Yes i do believe from today onward.
Sorry for the past that i ignored you for 3months as we didn't talk at all. I glad i made the correct decision that time. And now we are more closer. No regret.
Sorry that i block you from fb because I just can't take it when i saw all those photos that you take with her though I know it nothing as it your senior.
If I have the decision, yes i will accept you.

Thank You
Sorry

Distance

Guess will be unable to meet you for quite sometime. Before I start to miss you too much, I shall keep a distance from you. Don't have to worry for me, do what you suppose to do and enjoy your outing and birthday celebrations. The birthday celebration of your with you guess will be the last outing and will start avoid all alone meeting with you. Before hurting you too much, guess this is the most I can do for you. Hope I feel no regret.

Unexpected

Tomorrow will be the first paper of sem exam, Instrumentation. Worried x.x

Went his house today to study. Had my favourite hotdog bread & Ipoh instant white coffee for brunch from him. Thankyou (: Love the coffee so much! Im gonna buy it for myself soon. Hehes.
Have heart attack whenever i came out from the washroom when Jojo bark at me. 3times today. Really still can't take it. Phew~ Hahas but then she so cute and managed to take a photos with her & brought her go walk walk awhile today :D
With unexpected, had dinner at his home today. Carrot, papaya, veggies, pork in soup, beef, mint & blueberry ice-cream. Yes! Can't believe myself when actually i ate all that today. Don't know how long I never touch all those food le. I like everything except the beef =/ as I promise myself not to eat that anymore. But it okay, nothing wrong anyway(:
Sat down and have dinner with his family, ate dessert with his siblings. I feel the warmness, the friendly from his family. I really feel very happy. Feel envy with it. But I still like my life now! (:
Great Thankyou to you! One step closer to know more about your family especially the unexpected brother of yours! hahas.

晚安！

Thought

Have a lot of thought going through my mind recently. Sometime suddenly feel like crying. I don't know why.

I would really wish i have more freedom since I'm going 21 in 5 months plus. Haii.. Missed lot of opportunities in my life. I can't do anything but just add on more and more regret in my life. I really wish i can fly out from the cage I am now and explore what out there. It full of dangerous out there but I'm not afraid at all. Dad, i really need more of your understanding.

Sometime I really don't know what did I done wrong. Why do I always get this kind of replied from you? Why do you always have to talk to me in this manner? Can we just be like other sisters? I feel sad when you always in this way..

I feel very sorry for you. I want to but I just can't do anything. Sometime I really wish to let you go and hide myself in the corner and cry. One year and eight months. I never thought it already been so long. Really thankyou for every single thing that you does. Greatly appreciated. B, Thank you my very first person i love.

Single but unavailable. Guess that be my fate=/

Bye...

AGAIN! Bought footwear that hurt my feets ): PO PI LIAOOOO
Walau buey tahan myself, always waste money like this ): *money fly*~

Oh well.. But I'm happy today too! Quite numbers of people told me that I look slimmer le (: Some thought is because I sick so that why lose weight. Happy eagle!

Food at John's chalet is Great!
Dukey is so cute!
Disappointed that you cant attend today...=/

& lastly though already passed 12am but still i wanna say,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

JOHN FORTISSIMO LAM GUO WEI

&

CHIA JIN QIAN!

With you.

Okay I'm extremely tired now so i wont talk much.

Training today is alright but my sparring is bad. Injured my insteps, have to ice but now bcos too tired to do so. So will be tmr bah. Expendable 2 midnight movie. Though it just went to watch movie but somehow i feel happy. The feel bah (: Thankyou for being around with me today, really treasure that as i don't have much chance to with you that often.

That all. Goodnight! Zhen jiu tmr morning lo & yesh! 45.2kg :D

Understanding

Back with blogger for the third time.

Was feeling happy because thinking I've done a right action today. But my mood feel extremely awfully after receiving your msg & i know you are angry with me..

He sudden msg me and told me he probably not going because he's pissed because you keep didn't reply his msg last night, not knowing why and he thinking guess you won't want see him today. He feel kinda wtf and thinking why u want treat a friend of him in this way. & here i decided that i should do something with it. I msg u and him, trying to explain why u did it to him and hint and tell u that u shouldn't be in this way to him. AND YES I DONE IT AND IS SUCCESS! With a sudden his msg to me seem so alive! a 360 degrees tone change. And also after saw 2 of you able to talk as usually i found so happy and relief.
Sometime you may think it nothing to the person or it is normal to be in this way. You may be wrong. Because on the other side, the person can be very angry just because your simple action when you don't even realised it.

I feel sad. Just because I'm late, just because I'm unable to do what i said to you, you will angry with me. With the action, the way you talk to me i feel hurt when you maybe don't even realised it. Yes i'm wrong this time, I'm won't deny. My reason maybe you think is unacceptable, it okay i accepted it. Extremely sorry to you.

I realised all the things i do that trying to agree, trying to accept people for every single time will get me into trouble. Hate. Pissed. Disappointment. Guess I should really think twice when i accept or promise people next time.

Cried in car, during bath, in the toilet just now when saw the msg of yours. Thankyou for accepting my apology and forget about my mistake today. Appreciated....

Extremely exhausted, effing stress. More tears and tears. Just couldn't control it. Guess this is the way of how I express myself and released the emotion.